Hi! My curriculum vitae is as follows:  I was a C-minus student in high school, I have no college degree nor any attempts at one, and have won no awards because most of them sound like some stuff designed especially for Beckys who know how to use semi-colons, but my ninth grade English teacher in 1990 told me that I should be a writer.  Thanks, Mr. Maroni!

In short, I was figuratively raised by literary wolves.