About Me

I’m Maggie. I’m often comically and tragically pissed off about things, I am petty and immature, and I have many tribal tattoos from the 90s for which I refuse to be apologetic. I used to be the singer of a band you never heard of in South Florida and have now successfully become a writer you have never heard of in South Florida.

I’m working on putting out my first book in 2019, because apparently everyone and their mother has a damn book.  It’s called “Call Jim Morrison (Collect) I’m Still Undecided on The Title” and it’s a book of stories about my life growing up a poor dirtbag kid and eventually becoming a slightly less poor dirtbag adult.  I promise it’s 90% funny, and if you keep refreshing this page every five minutes for the next few months, you’ll be the first to know when it comes out.  The title isn’t really I’m Still Undecided on The Title.  I really am still undecided on the title.  Shit just got real, I know.  Calm yourself.

My curriculum vitae is as follows:  I was a C-minus student in high school, I have no college degree nor any attempts at one, no previous work published in literary journals, and have neither applied for nor won any literary awards because most of them sound like some stuff designed especially for Beckys who know how to use semicolons, but my ninth grade English teacher in 1991 told me that I should be a writer.  Thanks, Mr. Morone!

I am also a cartoonist, and my current cartoon blog is called “The Musical Instruments of Men Who Have Disappointed Me”.  You can find it at TMIOMWHDM.com or on Instagram under the name TMIOMWHDM.

I also have a day job that I have to get up really early in the morning for, so don’t give me a lot of shit, all right?