About Me

I’m Maggie. I’m often comically pissed off about things, I am petty and immature, and I have many tribal tattoos from the 90s for which I refuse to be apologetic. I used to be the singer of a band you never heard of in South Florida and have had the misfortune of dating many musicians.

I have a book coming out later this fall/early winter, because who doesn’t.  It’s called “Call Jim Morrison (Collect)” and it’s a book of stories about my life growing up a poor dirtbag kid and eventually becoming a slightly less poor dirtbag adult.  I promise, if you keep refreshing this page every five minutes for the next few months, you’ll be the first to know when it comes out.

My curriculum vitae is as follows:  I was a C-minus student in high school, I have no college degree nor any attempts at one, no previous work published in literary journals, and have neither applied for nor won any literary awards because most of them sound like some bullshit for Beckys, but my ninth grade English teacher in 1991 told me that I should be a writer.  Thanks, Mr. Morone!

I am also a cartoonist, and my current cartoon blog is called “The Musical Instruments of Men Who Have Disappointed Me”.  You can find it at TMIOMWHDM.com or on Instagram under the name TMIOMWHDM.

I also have a day job that I have to get up really early in the morning for, so don’t give me a lot of shit, all right?