Published Works

For reasons unknown to me, people occasionally agree to publish my work in magazines and journals and such, a decision that most likely gets them fired immediately and escorted out of the building by security.  I don’t want their sacrifice to be for naught, so please check out the links to some of my published pieces below.

October 2019

Cosmonauts Avenue
Licehead Spa Day
A short humor/memoir piece about being deloused as a child.

September 2019

*82 Review
Wrestling The Tin Man
A piece about the day I spent on-set with a famous professional wrestler (who shall remain unnamed).

Wraparound South
They Shoot Salads, Don’t They?
A humor/memoir piece about vision boards, cannibal mice, satin formalwear, and signing artwork with my own blood. Welcome to 13-year old me.

July 2019

Queen Mob’s Tea House
My Girlfriend / She’s At The End
A humor piece about how I used the Violent Femmes song “Blister In The Sun” as a relationship test.

June 2019

Idiot Box Hero
A memoir piece about how I used 1980s television to cope with the breakup of my family.

Drunk Monkeys
Nominated by the editors of Drunk Monkeys for the 2019 Best of The Net Anthology by Sundress Publications!  A flash nonfiction piece about a classified ad in Spin Magazine in 1993 that I haven’t been able to get out of my head since.

The Free Library of The Internet Void
My Fake Exploding Heart
A creative nonfiction memoir piece about that time I didn’t smoke crack-weed because my mother told me my heart would explode.

The Call Was Coming From Inside the Cockroach
A fun creative nonfiction flash piece about growing up in Florida among the dreaded Palmetto Bug.

May 2019

The Dead Mule School of Southern Literature
Here Lies Huckleberry Bitch
This is actually the first chapter of my book!  It’s a humor/memoir piece about shooting guns at sleepaway bible camp and longing for the deep end of the pool.

Hand to Mouth
The Smiting of Wyatt Stupid Face
A humor/memoir piece about how I exacted revenge on a childhood bully who made fun of me for being poor.

Foliate Oak Literary Magazine
Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now, Daddio
A flash humor/memoir piece about the strange relationship I developed with a local radio DJ as a child.

April 2019
JMWW Journal
This Joker Who Wants to Kiss Your Mother
A flash memoir piece about the first guy who showed up to take my mother out after the divorce, and how I planned to do away with him.

March 2019
Crab Fat Magazine
On The Waterpark
A humor/memoir piece about being kicked out of my best friend’s life because her mother thought I was too trashy.

The New Southern Fugitives
Proof of Deliverance
Nominated by the editors of The New Southern Fugitives for the 2019 Best of The Net Anthology by Sundress Publications!  A humor/memoir piece about growing up poor and dodging certified letters.

Bitterzoet Magazine
My Eddie Teddy
A humor/memoir piece about the object of my obsession in the sixth grade.

More to come this year in Green Briar Review, Barren Magazine, The Syndrome Mag, and Gimmick Press!