The Call Was Coming From Inside the Cockroach

I wrote a fun little nonfiction piece about growing up in Florida among the dreaded Palmetto Bugs and X-R-A-Y Magazine was kind enough (and not squeamish at all) about publishing it on their site today!

You can check it out here: The Call Was Coming From Inside the Cockroach

If you are disturbed by vivid descriptions of bugs, then I shall direct you to this photograph of Steven Seagal holding a panda cub, which is only marginally less disturbing.  Who are we kidding?  It’s way, way more disturbing.

Click through and check out some of the other pieces on their site – they’re a really fantastic publication and I’m honored to be added to their contributor’s list.  Some of my favorite writers are on there!

Thanks for hanging out with me every week!  And let’s not forget why we’re all really here:

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Could You Be…The Most Annoying Brain in The World?

I like to think of my brain as the most annoying brain in the world, so it is with great pleasure that I tell you that I’ve had a classified ad from 1993 stuck in said annoying brain for the past 26 years, and Drunk Monkeys was kind enough to publish a little 463 word flash nonfiction piece I wrote about it.

You can check it out here:  GREG BRADY IS GOD

Thanks so much for joining me on this wild ride, folks.  Be sure and tell ’em Large Marge sent ya!

And also this guy:

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The Smiting of Wyatt Stupid Face

I wrote a piece about growing up poor and how I exacted revenge on a young man who made fun of me for it.  It’s one of my favorite funny pieces and it’s very near and dear to my cold, steely heart.  I’d been looking for a good home for it for a long time and I didn’t want to trust it with just anyone.

It finally found the perfect home right here on good ol’ page 44: The Smiting of Wyatt Stupid Face

Hand to Mouth is a special edition zine dedicated to writers responding to living in poverty, and is hosted by Kissing Dynamite.  This issue is full of poetry, creative nonfiction (that’s what I do, suckas), and artwork – and you should read it cover to cover and support the heck out of it because they’re good people doing good in the world…

…unlike me, a person who basically works for pizza money and unfettered mirror-time.

This means that you’re a good person if you print it out 10,000 times, wallpaper the entire inside of your house with it, invite me over, I’ll walk in and get freaked out that you’re a stalker, then pepper spray you and kick you in the jimmies with a sensible shoe.

And won’t that be a story to tell at your next court-ordered group therapy session.

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If you’re not already following this blog, go ahead and click the “Follow” button on the home page and you’ll get a nifty email anytime I post new stuff on here, usually about once a week.  I won’t go blowing up your email unlike certain people named Old Navy those denim-clad sons of bitches.  Who needs five emails a day from Old Navy??? We’re breaking up!  I don’t even care how well your Rock Star stretch jeans fit.  WE’RE DONE.

That’s a huge lie.  I will never quit Old Navy.

You can also follow me on Twitter at @romcomdojo.

I ALMOST FORGOT!

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