My Girlfriend / She’s At The End

This is a funny little story I wrote about how I used the Violent Femmes song “Blister in The Sun” as a relationship test.  It’s 90% humiliating.  The other 10% is merely embarrassing to the depths of my soul.

You can check it out here:  My Girlfriend / She’s At The End

I am so thrilled, excited, humbled, and freaking out that it found a home with one of my favorite publications, Queen Mob’s Tea House!!  Many thanks to Reb Livingston for giving this piece a chance.  She’s the Misfit Documents editor over there at Queen Mob’s, and a damn fine writer, too.  Check out her bio and pick up some of her books while you’re at it!

I would run a woo-hoo happy lap around my office right now, but I can’t run more than about twenty feet before I have to use my asthma inhaler, and that sort of ruins the whole “Not a Cartoon Nerd” thing I’m trying to accomplish in my daily life.  I think if you use an inhaler while wearing Invisalign, an after-school model rocket club appears and forces you to get a bowl-cut.  (And the Invisalign is going great so far!  More to come on that in the next couple weeks!)

Thanks again to all of you for hanging out here every week and being so cool and awesome and stuff.  Many, many hearts to you.  🙂

Ohh yeah and, as always, to this guy.

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13 thoughts on “My Girlfriend / She’s At The End

  1. Well fuck my life Maggie… and I definitely do have so much in common. I was like that too, only I didn’t have the smarts to do that with an 80’s song. I was just freaking head over heels with the wrong guys, ALWAYS! And it seemed that it lasted forever and a day until then, it wasn’t. But I have to say, that was indeed an experiment in sociology/anthropology because, they, the test subjects were being prompted by a song, and in almost each case, they fell for it. Like monkeys in a lab, your a genius!!
    I hoped that the lesson learned was that, you deserve more than this “experiments” you were hung up on, could possibly give you. I know we were only kids when we were going through that, but life lessons never fade. Congrats again on being published, your experiments and hard work have paid off! 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Younger me was the saddest, most pathetic, guy-chaser that when I think back on it I have to laugh or else I’d be locked in an asylum by now! And these guys were always total losers, too. No job, no car, lived with their mother, made me pay for everything – but I would spend every waking minute trying to get them to love me! Here’s to the wisdom that comes with age and experience! 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

  2. I agree that it feels wrong to laugh at your youthful self, but impossible not to with your self-deprecating style.

    I saw the Femmes in concert senior yr of high school. 1989. Told my parents it was a french cultural group. They were crazy strict. I bought a tee shirt. My two older, uptight sisters came home from college and were appalled when tbey saw the shirt. ‘You let Ernie go to a Violent Femmes concert?’ They ratted me out to my folks for liking music with foul language. It hit the fan.

    No, to answer your question. I am not close to my narky sisters.

    Congrats on having another great piece published!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Why didn’t y’all chase me?? I would’ve let you catch me! Maybe you liked the impossible to get/awful to keep type. Now I’m old, my six pack is more of a keg, and I am grumpy and cynical. What’s not to love?
    The bowl cut is a terrific idea. I don’t think I even have enough hair for a bowl fringe any more.
    Let the good times roll!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think bowl fringe could very well be the next big thing. They’ll call it “monk chic”. I’m only jealous because it would take three years to grow my current pixie cut out to a bowl cut, even. 😂


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