This Joker Who Wants to Kiss Your Mother

Hey sassafrases!  The folks over at jmww journal were kind enough to give a home to a little nonfiction humor piece I wrote about the first guy who showed up to take my mom on a date when I was a kid.

You can read it on the jmww site here: This Joker Who Wants to Kiss Your Mother

About The Journal:  “jmww is a weekly journal of writing publishing the best in fiction, poetry, flash, essays, interviews, and reviews (or a close approximation).”


A Reminder About Me:  I have no idea how a dirtbag like me got accepted there, I’m just honored as hell that they shook me out of the pile, dusted me off, and gave me a shot.

Special thanks to the illustrious Alle C. Hall, Senior Nonfiction Editor at jmww and a stunningly good writer, for her excellent guidance, ideas, and expert honing in editing this piece.  You can check out her blog here: About Childhood

As always, thanks to all of you for being so awesome.  You’re all so supportive and kind and funny and I can’t thank you enough for hanging out with me here every week!  More published work coming next week!

And here’s the obligatory Nicolas Cage photo.  Because.


24 thoughts on “This Joker Who Wants to Kiss Your Mother

    1. And I was the nice one of my siblings!

      I’ll see what I can do on the rich and famous thing. 😉 I’m hoping to eventually buy a share of Jenny Lawson’s new book store so we can all just hang out there all day and watch Hunter S. Thomcat sit that weird way he sits.


    1. Thanks so much for reading! I don’t know what I would do without this fantastic community. Everyone is so supportive and WONDERFUL. 🙂

      I was thinking of going into my boss and telling him that I’m famous now so that means I get to quit, but then I remembered that writers without day jobs are typically referred to as “homeless”, so I reassessed the situation! 😉


  1. Gawd Maggs, I never realized how kids think when their single parents start to date. The ketchup packets are hilarious! Maybe that’s why when I was dating Waldo my little one (the 6’1 bodybuilder) would leave him standing out at the front door. When he’d come by he’d ring the doorbell and if it wasn’t me answering the boys would open the door then close it right back again and yell “Mom! Waldo is here!” but leave his stupid ass standing outside waiting for me, lol. Loved the line “I use to live in that waist bucko” LMAO!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha! I could totally see doing the “Mom Waldo is here!” thing and leaving that dude out in the cold. Kids are such a tough audience! I could always tell when an adult was trying to suck up to me, or was patronizing me and I gave the cold shoulder accordingly. I swear, I was better at spotting phonies when I was a kid than I am as an adult. It’s a sixth sense, like when a dog hates someone instantly, and it turns out the dog is right every time!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think your right, there’s a saying in Spanish that goes “Only the drunk and Children tell it like it is.” I totally believe that. My son still sees Waldo at the other University (that’s where my son works) and he still (STILL) dogs him out. I ask him why he still does it and he says “Because ma, he’s a pussy and I don’t like him” sounds like a legit reason to me, lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I loved it! It was more, ‘Why is this hussy in a bikini in our backyard and my dad is smiling’ at our house being raised by my Dad. Yet, I still gave the guy who was and is perfect for my mother a really hard time the two times of year I saw him. Keeping it real.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I always wished one of those guys could have given me the perfect setup where they would say, “I’m my own worst critic!” just so I could say, “Guess again.” 😁


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